Of Prayers and Like Liking
by VixonVulpe
Summary: Sometimes somethings don't last forever. Childhood. Faith. Relationships. But sometimes there are things that never truly end. A tale of growing up.


They were happy. They played together; mostly fought together. Eli usually won. He was the tougher of the two, even though Gil would never admit that. Besides, Eli needed Gil to back him up a lot of times and come save the day, so obviously Gil was cooler. And at any rate, Gil liked Eli.

Like, _like _liked him.

Which was the other thing he would never admit. Because boys were cool, but you weren't supposed to hold their hands or something. That was one of those icky things girls liked to do, and grown up boys did with grown up girls. Boys didn't hold hands. Or hug. Or kiss.

Gil prayed a lot those days. Even for how religious he was, he prayed a lot.

—

Eli figured out his mistake eventually. Gil had figured it out first, of course. But boys couldn't play with _girls. _That would mean they _like liked_ the girl, and he didn't _like like _Eli. So he didn't tell her/him, and that made him feel guilty because it was like lying, so he prayed for forgiveness.

Eventually he felt so guilty he had to stop playing with Eli. He didn't think Eli minded too much. Eli had a lot of friends, probably. There were a lot of kids in the area to fight with and play with.

The next time they saw each other, it was obvious Eli had been mistaken. He/she had even grown his/her hair out like a girl's, so Gil was pretty sure Eli knew it too. But it still shocked him to realize Eli had become…bustier. It was just weird that the little bo- _girl _he used to play with had kicked his ass - yes, now he said those words his childhood self had only dared to whisper - on a most likely daily basis, only to grow up with boobs and long hair and a pretty face.

But that meant he could _'like like'_ her, as he used to say. He could find her attractive. He could love her.

Except now she wanted to be called Liz (not that he cared. A rose by any other name, etc.) and she seemed to be going through a lot of changes in her life. Not boobs either; he'd asked one day while they were hanging out, poking fun at one another, and she'd rolled her eyes and told him no, her lady parts were done changing. Her body knew it was female. It was just, the rest of her that was catching up.

He asked her out.

—

It didn't last long, though. By the time he'd stopped praying daily, she'd worked herself out pretty well. She stopped wearing pants, changing to skirts at first. She put her toy sword away in her attic with her other unused childhood items. For about a month or two afterwards he kept his in its hopeful place beside his nightstand. Eventually it crawled its way under his bed to mourn in peace.

She was wearing a dress the day they walked to the lake to feed the ducks. The last day she held his hand. He knew from the moment he saw her that it was over for them.

She didn't say anything. That's what he liked to pretend. He liked to imagine, when he thought back on that afternoon, that they simply walked to the waterside, fed half a loaf of bread to the ducks, and went their separate ways. They just quietly stopped _like liking_ each other. But no. Liz wasn't like that. Eli wasn't like that. His childhood love had to make things clear. She told him exactly why they were over.

He must have shut everything out, because he could never remember what happened after that.

—

The sharpest sting had been Roderich.

Eli was a girl? Okay, that was weird, but kind of okay once he got used to it. He like liked her anyway. Liz started wearing girly stuff? That was okay, he guessed. Liz broke up with him and started going by Lizzy, or Elizabeta? He'd sort of seen it coming (but he still called her Liz.) But Roderich?

It was like she was trying to date a guy girlier than her just so she could learn the ropes of womanhood.

He couldn't even meet her eyes anymore. It was just so awkward for them. Liz was done with him, but he was still attached. He tried to move on. Sometimes he imagined being friends with her again. He'd sit in his bed, leaned against the wall and thinking of how he'd go visit them, the Happy Couple. He'd make fun of the Austrian and rile Liz up enough for a good old fashioned fight. Then he'd take her hand and they'd go feed the ducks. But, he couldn't take her hand. He wasn't allowed to anymore, and it was just like when he was a child and she was Eli, except now he was done praying. He knew it was hopeless. He was hopeless.

—

It took another break up to fix their relationship. With the end of the marriage came a new day. Gilbert had finally managed to get over her enough to be near her without feeling the sting of loneliness, and the fact that the three of them (Roderich tended to be around even though the marriage was over - Gil suspected Roddy suffered the same lingering attachment as he had,) were single helped ease the pain. It made way for a more relaxed feeling between them. And for the first time since his days with Eli, Gilbert felt true friendship, as much from Liz (he still wouldn't call her Lizzy) as from Roderich. Free of like liking and guilty praying. Just three people, together. Happy people. Best friends.


End file.
